Phone rings and, after several seconds of absolute silence, a guy with a thick foreign accent comes on the crackly line. The conversation goes as follows:

My name is Rob, how are you today?

I’m fine thanks, er, Rob. How can I help you?

Due to recent changes in English legislation I have money to give you back for a loan you took out a few years ago

Oh! How come?

You took out a loan and part of the requirement was that you also had to sign a payment protection insurance agreement

Ah yes … Who was the loan with again?

Er … er … Lloyds TSB Bank

Ah! When exactly did I borrow the money?

Just after 2004, and there is eight per cent interest added to all the money you are owed

I see … And what is the name of the borrower on the loan agreement? And what is the name of you company?

(Getting annoyed, ‘cos I’m messing with his script) It is the Lloyds TSB loan you took out. I am calling from BPI Insurance Settlement

You are making a speculative call and telling lies, presumably to extort money from me. I have never taken out a loan with Lloyds TSB, or indeed any other lender vaguely associated with them – **** OFF!

This seemed very much to be an ID fraud scam. If you receive a call from 08445590958, have fun … but don’t ring them back on their premium rate number … or give them any details about yourself!